thoughts on sex today

I am a strong, intelligent, hard-working, creative, warm, nurturing, curvy, funny, supportive, powerful woman.

I will celebrate International Women’s Day by honoring those who have most supported and celebrated and inspired my own womanhood throughout my life.

To my mother, who did her best to let me be who I was, even when who I was was not just like her. One of my best memories in childhood is my mother picking me up from school when I was in kindergarten and taking me to get my first perm. I wanted curly hair so badly, and my mother spent a lot of time and money on and with me trying to give me my dream of curly hair. (Even now, I anxiously await perms to come back in style.) While this may not seem like a big deal, there are many parents who would not let a five-year-old go get a perm or haircut of their choosing. This was important in my quest for self-expression. (I will just forget about the time she convinced me to cut my hair really short because I wasn’t good at taking care of long hair. Worst. Hair cut. Ever.)

To my childhood teachers, who pushed and prodded and expected the best out of me. It wasn’t that long ago in our history that even when girls went to school, nothing much was expected from them. I had teachers that made me cry, simply because they expected more out of me than I knew I had to give. They were right. I’m where I am because of them.

To Dr. Shively, who told a class of eighteen-year-olds that he passionately believed that women were called to leadership roles in the church. Before that moment, I honestly didn’t know that, even with the whispers in my heart that had told me that was the case.

To Jessie, who brought her love and nurturing into every relationship she engaged in, showing me that my warmth was a strength, not a weakness.

To Heidi, a fierce momma bear who brings creativity and fun into every aspect of life, including motherhood. I have no doubt that she has set a living example for the type of mother I will be someday.

To Ellen, whose balance of scholarship and family life models what I want in my own life. Her academic work also carries strong conviction with a gentle warmth that flies in the face of conventional heady writing that assures me that my voice has a place in this world and can make a difference.

To Caity, my dearest friend in the world, who approaches life as a kid confidently trampsing through the woods, redefining what it means to be a woman. Women don’t have to stay inside and knit, they should be running and exploring and tasting and playing.

To my dad, who never once made me feel second-class as a woman. When I said I was studying religion and ministry in college, he never once pointed out that my gender might cause me some problems. Instead, he supported and affirmed this direction my life was taking.

To Tina Fey, Amy Pohler, Maya Rudolph, I don’t know you, but I am so thankful for what you have shown the world. You are strong women, hard workers, loving mothers, and oh so funny. It wasn’t very long ago that that combination would have been thought to be nonexistent.

To my husband, who loves and affirms every part of me, who pushes me to be bigger, brighter, and more than I would even hope for myself.

To all of you women, defining womanhood in your own ways and not letting gender norms or stereotypes define you.

To all of you men, supporting the women in your life.

Thank you.

*There are many more women I look up to and owe where I am now to. Please forgive any omissions, and know that it was only for time and brevity’s sake. Stay tuned for my exhaustive memoir in about 30 years. :)